This past Saturday I announced on my Facebook page my engagement to my love Shannon. It was a long time coming and something that Shannon and I both have known was going happen.
To be truthful ... about 10 years ago I believed I would never be married again. I'd already been married 3 times. Most would consider me a 3 time loser. I prefer to think of myself as a serial monogamist. I've made the "till death do us part" promise 3 times. Each time the other person that made that very same promise decided not to keep it.
I worry about how bad 3 times looks. With my appearance, I'm sure people think that the women I was married to were getting beaten regularly and left me in fear for their life. Or that I am some sort of tyrant that wears a wife beater and expects to be waited on 24/7. That when my needs weren't met I viciously yell at whomever disappointed me. Or I was an alcoholic or drug user or even worse ... ( **gasp**) a registered Republican.
I can assure you that I am none of those things. I have a tendency to be quiet/withdrawn at times, I work way to much and I stress myself out. I will admit to being quirky. I say quirky because weird sounds worse.
Lucky for me, Shannon seems to like quirky.
My separation with wife number 3 was in September 1995. I dated a little bit in the beginning but actually went 7 years without going on a date. I didn't even have a friend with benefits.
By 2006 I had convinced myself that I would be living out the rest of my life by myself. I had made that decision on my own and was perfectly happy with it. There are a lot of benefits to living alone. Unfortunately most of them involve bad eating habits, poor housekeeping and bad hygiene.
Then came MySpace ...
I had gotten on MySpace because I was a comic and that's what comics did back then. I didn't get on it for a "hook up", even though that was all the rage back then. I just was looking to promote myself.
I was doing bad at it either. I was no Dane Cook but I was very happy with the progress I was making. I had over 4,000 friends and my blog was being read over a 1,000 times a day. It was a lot of fun.
Along with all that activity I actually had a few women that seemed to be interested in me. That was something that had never happened before. I even went out on a few dates; the no commitment kind!
Then I posted this picture which ultimately brought all that to a screeching halt.
That is me the day I took that bike home. Shannon had just started following me and saw that picture and left the following comment:
Where is my seat?
That started a conversation between us. One thing led to another and we started dating. Then Shannon moved from Denver to the town I lived in. From then on we have been a couple. We took our time getting to know each other and creating a really solid relationship.
I'm sure it hasn't been easy for Shannon. While I've never given her any doubt of my love for her I've gone through a couple low points since we met. She's never wavered in her commitment to me and our relationship.
She's truly the best woman I've ever known.
But even a patient woman has her limits, and she made those known to me last November. I was on my annual Northwest and Canada tour and had this phone conversation.
Shannon: Don't get me a Christmas present.
Me: It's too late, I've already gotten you one.
Shannon: Then take it back.
Me: I'm not going to do that.
Shannon: I don't want a present, I want a ring.
Me: Ring? What kind of ring?
Shannon: You know what kind of ring I'm talking about.
Me: No, I don't.
(Note: of course I did)
Shannon: A wedding ring.
Me: A wedding ring?
Shannon: A wedding ring, I want to get married.
Me: Well, I don't know.
Me: Well you're going to have to ask me again and be a lot nicer about it if you want me to say yes.
I think both of us had known for a long time that we were eventually going to be married. We had even talked about it but up to that point I was still a little afraid. I had finally found a great girl and didn't want to screw things up.
Up until that point I was happy to keep things as they were for fear that any change would bring with it some sort of problem between us. The last thing I ever wanted was anything to jeopardize what we had.
It was that conversation that helped me turn the corner. This is going to sound silly, but up until that moment I still had a fear of bringing up marriage. That conversation helped me pass my last bit of fear.
And now that we've made it official, I can't wait ...
Vilmos has been a standup comedian since 1992.
He created GreenRoomRadio.net a web site with Podcasts by comedians.
He is the host of The Green Room which is the longest running Podcast on standup comedy.
He also hosts The Mentorist v2 and The Spew.
His web site is Vilmos.com.
Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/vilmosthecomic or Twitter @vilmosthecomic.