Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry F'ing Christmas

I will be the first to tell you I don't look forward to the holidays, not one of them. I don't celebrate my birthday either. Even my best friends have no idea what my birthday is.

I go out of my way to avoid all things that may be a celebration.

I never liked Halloween because I was frightened as a child. I never celebrated my birthday because well ... that's a story for another blog.

I'm not going to tell you I hate Holidays because I don't. I also don't fault anyone the enjoys Holidays. I'm not one of those that believes just because I don't like it, everyone should fall in step with me.

I didn't always hate the Holidays. There was a time in my life I actually looked forward to them. That all changed when I got divorced. I lost my sense of family when that happened. That combined with my ex went going of her way to make sure there was no holiday between me and my children just put me in a bad place when they cam around.

It started in 1995 and until this year I've pretty much just watched the Holidays pass each and every year. I wish people whatever is appropriate for the season and buy gifts for the people in my life I was supposed to. I've just gone through the motions.

Over the past couple years I've noticed an ever so slight change in how I view the Holidays. My participation has increased. It's because of the woman  I'm in a relationship with, Shannon. I was lucky enough to meet her in 2006. I'm not going to get into her personal situation because that's her's to tell. I'll just say this, she's had a difficult life. Even so she is an upbeat person. She remains hopeful and goes out of her way to find the good in people.

Which explains my relationship with her.

Since I've known her all I've ever wanted is the best for her. She's too good of a person to receive any less. She deserves much better than she received  out of life. I don't have a lot. It's not like I can throw a bunch of money at her life. The best things I can do for her are to be a good partner and do the best I can to give her a life that is a carefree as possible.

Part of that is making the Holidays a good experience for her. Making sure she has a good Christmas has been a priority for me. Somewhere along the way the satisfaction I have received from making sure Shannon's Christmas was good has changed things for me. I've started to actually look forward to Christmas.

It's been great watching Shannon celebrate Christmas. In the process I've been making some good Christmas memories myself. I'll have to admit this year I was even looking forward to Christmas decorations.

I got my real proof day before yesterday ...

Shannon and I had to make a trip into town to pick up medication for my mother. She gets her meds at the local Target pharmacy. As you can expect on December 23 it was extremely busy in the store and the lines at the Pharmacy were no exception. There must have been a sale on Vicodin because you know nothing says Christmas more than a big Christmas dinner followed by 2 Vicodin washed down with egg nog.

There were 2 lines stretching into to Pharmacy counter, each one in a different isle. Shannon and I patiently waited in one of the lines and when it was our turn we stepped up to the counter. We told the girl behind the counter what we were picking up and as she went to get my mother's meds I could hear what I can only describe as disapproval coming from behind us. I turned around to see a women that had been in the other line giving me the indignant stare of someone who had been cut in front of.

Even though we had patiently waited and it was actually my turn I figured we were in no hurry so why not let this women go ahead of us. It was pretty apparent she wasn't having a great shopping experience.

I should point out that normally I would let this woman stew in her own juices. It's been my experience that the majority of people that are unhappy have created that state of mind all on their own. They are generally narcissists that believe they are entitled to some sort of special pass in life and when it doesn't happen they get angry. This woman was clearly one of those.

She said nothing to me as she walked in front of me. She completely her transaction and as she was walking by me leaving she gave me a look of disgust. In the spur of the moment I made a decision, one that saved her day. I let it go.

Normally I would have let this woman ruin her own day. All I would have done was lit the fuse. All I had to say was "You could have at least said thank you". She would have blasted off like a Space Shuttle launch. Which is probably what she deserved.

I'm not going to lie to you, she deserved that. I will normally not let these kinds of things pass because I don't feel that people like her have the right to impose themselves on others. Most people won't do anything about someone like her. I firmly believe that as long as I'm not putting myself in harms way if I can do something that will cause someone like her to ruin their own day I am almost obligated to do so.

Even though ruining her day would not have affected mine in any way I decided to stay with the spirit of the Christmas season. I'm with the woman I love and I'm having a good day. So I took the high road and said nothing.

Merry F'ing Christmas lady ...

Vilmos has been a standup comedian since 1992.
He created a web site with Podcasts by comedians.
He is the host of The Green Room which is the longest running Podcast on standup comedy.
He also hosts The Mentorist v2 and The Spew.
His web site is
Follow him on Facebook at or Twitter @vilmosthecomic.

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