Sunday, August 13, 2006

Sturgis 2009


That is the year I will FINALLY be able to go to Sturgis.

I have always seen the Sturgis rally as a pilgrimage. Like the "Hajj" when the Muslims pilgrimage to Mecca. They say that every Muslim that is physically and financially able to do so must participate in this pilgrimage.

I believe it should be the same for bikers when it comes to Sturgis. And when I say biker, I mean REAL biker. Not some of these weekend warriors, but more about that later.

I've attempted a pilgrimage to Sturgis twice in my life. Once in 1978 and again in 1980. I didn't make it either time. You see I did it the right way, I actually rode my bike there, or at least I tried to. Back then I lived in Illinois and both times I broke down on the way out. In 1978 I was in Kansas and in 1980 I was in Minnesota. I could have hitched a ride in both times but I had too much self respect to go into Sturgis on anything other than my own bike.

That's because your bike is supposed to be an extension of who you are, not who you want to be. Riding someone else's bike is like making love to someone else woman. First of all, you got no business doing it unless they gave you permission and even then it may be exciting but it just never feels right.

Author note: I have never slept with anyone else's woman (unless they didn't tell me), so I can only guess about it.

Back to my point.....

I'm a long time biker, I started riding in 1973. Maybe I am living in the past but when you get a bike you are supposed to make it your own. I know a lot of guys that grumble when they see some gal riding a Harley that is painted pink and set up to be all girly. It's not for me but in my never to be humble opinion she just as much a biker as any guy I know. She made her bike into what she wanted it to be. That's to entire point of owning one. So if she had the balls (so to speak) to paint it hot Pink let her. She can resell it to some gay man in San Francisco when she's finished with it. I don't care.

What bugs me are all the new bikers these days wearing their "costumes". They get a Harley and all the sudden they have a weekend wardrobe. Leathers, boots, Harley shirts, hats, glasses, doo rags and even underwear. They go to their local Harley dealership and spend thousands of dollars to get the Harley "look". It's something they will never achieve because there is no "look". You are supposed to be you on a bike, not a caricature of what you think you are supposed to be.

I was riding yesterday between Canon City and Florence and happened to ride past this guy on an older FLH. He was wearing a pair of overalls with tennis shoes on. The way he was carrying himself I thought "Now there's a real biker".

And you know what, he didn't wave at me. I couldn't have been happier.

As I have said before, I hate the wave. Why is it that when you people get a Harley you feel you have to wave at every other person you see riding one? We are not in the same "club". You are making this look like a gay pride parade.

I'm telling you I start swearing under my breath every time someone waves at me.

When you are in your car do do you ride around waving at everyone that drives the make? Of course you don't. You are self absorbed and anti-social. That is the way it is supposed to be. Nobody cares that you are driving around in your Honda.

Just like nobody cares that you are riding around on your Harley.

And it's not even supposed to be a wave. It's supposed to be your arm held out at 8 o'clock with your hand made into a fist. It's from a old warriors tradition and started as a way of showing respect for the others you saw out riding. But that went away 20 years ago.

It was tough back then, no one wanted you in their place. Now there are signs that say "bikers welcome".

My new friend JD was telling me about a time when he had ridden all day and it was late in evening. He was tired and and looking for a place to sleep. He saw a motel on the road with a vacancy sign lit . He pulled in and as soon as he stopped his engine the NO light came on. They didn't want him back then because they thought bikers were trouble. Now they would be outside waving him in because they are pretty sure he has an American Express and 5 or 6 Visa cards.

What got me started on this whole thing was my trip to pick up my son last weekend.

I was coming back from Canada and saw a lot of people headed towards Sturgis. Let me tell you what I saw.....

Too many Harleys on a trailer.

The whole point of Sturgis is riding. Not only riding while you are at Sturgis but getting their should be part of it as well. Quit being a pussy. Pack your shit on your bike and ride your ass to Sturgis. The only time a bike should be on a trailer or in the back of a pickup truck is if it cannot be ridden.

Some guy on a bike with temporary plates, blonde highlights and a trophy girlfriend.

This guy is lucky there will be a lot of people at Sturgis, maybe no one will notice him. Blonde highlights? If he does get noticed he will be taken aside, beaten, his bike parted out and his woman would intimately know an entire gang of bikers.

Nasty women.

What is it about being on the back of a bike that leads women to believe they can wear revealing clothes? Especially when they shouldn't be revealing anything. Here's a little tip for you girls. If the crack of your ass is hanging over both sides of the seat you should not be wearing anything tight enough to show any of your body.

Good grief......

So 2009 is my year. I can't before then because Sturgis week is always a week with my kids. There is NO WAY I will take my girls to Sturgis. They would attract way too much attention and not the good kind.

I just hope by the time I get there you people have learned something.

I don't want to have an aneurysm.....

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