Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The Dirty Survey

Some of the bulletins that come through are just making me crazy. Why anyone would fill one of these out and post it to a bunch of people they know is beyond me.

So it looks like it's time to give another one the attention it deserves.....

Dirty Survey

Answer this for the person who posted this and then re post it for yourself!

My answer: So you sent this bulletin out to all the people on your friends list just to see who was interested in fucking you and how they would like to do it.

How many of your family/children are on your friends list? Do you really want to get an answer from any of them? If so you'd either better be living in Arkansas or planning on moving there soon.

1. Would you have sex with me?

My answer: Only if you beg me and even then you will have to buy me dinner first. I have more important things to do that screw you. After all, I'm on MySpace!

2. What positions would u want to be in?

My answer: You sure do know how to ask a proper question. Can't you use the entire word you instead of the abbreviation u. If this is the way you write I can't see where position would even be important to you. I'm sure as long as I hit a hole you'll be happy.

3. Would u give me oral pleasure?

My answer: Only if I feel like it and you have washed up before we started. But since you are asking me I assure you that I will be receiving oral sex.

4. Would you have hard pounding sex, make love, or mix it up?

My answer: Take your pick, I don't care; I'm just here to get my rocks off.

5. Would you have sex with me on the first night we met?

My answer: I've probably already jerked off with a picture of you in my head. Having sex the first time we meet is just continuing my relationship with you.

6. Would you give me a naked pic?

My answer: No, but you will need to send me a few before I meet you. See question number 5.

7. Would you do me in a hot steamy shower?

My answer: Sure, right after your golden shower. You'll need to wash off.

8.Would you let me handcuff you or tie you up to the bed?

My answer: No, but I'll try to make you comfortable when I do it to you.

9. Would you join me in a 3-some?

My answer: That's all you are bringing? I'm just a little offended. Maybe you'd better try harder.

10. What is it about me that makes you want to have sex with me?

My answer: Didn't you send this survey to me?

11. Would you talk dirty to me while we had sex?

My answer: Of course, its a requirement. And you'd better talk dirty to me. I've heard almost everything so make it original!

12. Where would you like to be when we have sex?

My answer: In front of you if you are on your knees or behind you if you are bent over the bed.

13. Would you have sex with me in front of other people?

My answer: I don't care who watches. Maybe they'll learn something. I know you will.

14. Would you have multiple sex sessions with me in the same night?

My answer: You better not get ahead of yourself; you have to make it through the first one. Remember to drink a lot of water. You'll want to be hydrated.

15. Would you have sex with me in the rain, bending me over the hood of a car?

My answer: Bent over the hood of the car? Why would I want to repeat my standard greeting?

16. Would you mind if we got nasty and dirty like in a porno?
My answer: It's more porno is a lot like what I do.

17. Would you have phone sex with me?
My answer: Only if you are using the receiver as a butt plug.

18. Would you ever cheat on me?

My answer: From the sounds of this questionnaire I'm just a hook up anyway. Let's not call it cheating we'll just call it "practice".

19. If I gave you a piece of my heart would you love it or let it go?

My answer: The only thing I want from you is a piece of ass.

20. Would you have sex with me once and then leave me the next day?

My answer: It depends on how good you are. If you don't make the cut I'll be gone before you've had a chance to clean up.

21. Are u gonna re-post this to see if and how I want to have sex with you?

My answer: I doubt I'll need to after you read this.

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