Friday, June 09, 2006

MySpace Drama!

Authors note: The name of the offending party has NOT been changed to protect the "guilty".

Ok, I have finally had some drama here on MySpace. I made the mistake of actually dating someone I met here.

Now normally just dating is not such a bad thing. But that is assuming you made a GOOD choice. We all know that bad choices breed bad consequences and it appears I made a very bad choice.

But in my own defense.....

I am not the guy that usually draws the attention of women and if you have read any of my blogs that should be pretty easy to figure out. By the way, have you seen my picture? I am not saying I am ugly, but I am not a "head turner" either and that is all right with me. At least I know my place.

So I have to admit that when a woman shows interest in me I am genuinely surprised. I always think, "Was this woman really paying attention? Maybe she has a problem with her eyesight. What is wrong with her that she is interested in me?" So needless to say I feel obligated to at least look into the possibility that has presented itself.

I know most of you are thinking, "What is wrong with you?" Yes I know this is not always a good idea, but it is not like I have a lot of experience. I have been the third wheel all my life. Even in high school I was always the wallflower. I was ALWAYS the guy without a date. When I was in high school if there was special event coming up like a dance or a holiday, if I was lucky enough to be dating someone I could expect to be dumped. I have always been the guy that went out and bought a gift knowing I probably would not make it with the girl to the date I was supposed to give it. I have thrown away a lot of Christmas gifts in my lifetime.

So now do you see why I have to try?

So I was minding my own business on MySpace when I met Cindy in the beginning of March. Now you should also know my total time with her lasted until the middle of May. That is roughly 75 days, which I am realizing is an eternity in the wonderful world of the Internet.

I even managed to be in the same room with her maybe 20 times.

I will also tell you that I thought Cindy was a pretty nice girl. Unfortunately she has been treated pretty badly in the past and in my opinion for no good reason. She has even said so on her page. Below is her "Who I'd Like to Meet". I might add that this is what was on there when I met her.

Why is it we choose people who potentially break our hearts and TRY to break our spirit? It is my wish to someday meet a man that will except me for what and who I am and recognize the unconditional love that I have to give and return it the same. Trust and honesty are very important to me. To have someone that will trust me enough to know that I love them enough to forgive anything that is told from the heart. And to trust the same from them. I have been married twice myself and in one very serious relationship. And all of these Men just stopped loving me. How does that Happen? Maybe I was too good or too understanding or not controlling enough ... I guess some people need to be treated like crap to feel loved. I will never understand that. I have been told by a lot of my friends that I expect to much out of people to be and think like I do. I Keep the dream that there is someone somewhere that can love unconditionally and trust and be trustworthy. She is perfectly willing to put everything she has into a relationship. She is honest, trustworthy and faithful; everything that any guy (and that includes me) would be looking for in a woman.

But sometimes life can even get in the way of the good things and that is what happened between Cindy and I. My life began to get a little weird and because of that I told her I couldn't see her anymore. I just did not have the emotional energy or the time.

It seemed like she was disappointed but OK with that. She even sent me a nice email.

I understand completely ... And I am sorry for your troubles. But we can still be friends can't we? I mean there are no bad feelings. And quite honestly we had a lot of differences. But the one thing we had in common is that we had fun together and i do very much like your company. I would really hate to loose that. I hope this is not goodbye. Cindy

At that point there were no hard feelings and it was not goodbye. I thought maybe in the future when things got a little more stable in my life I would be able to connect with her again. Not romantically, but I felt she was a good person and I thought it would be fun to hang out with her.

That was when all the weirdness started.

Cindy started to contact people on my friends list. I found out that she had been keeping track of the people (especially the women) that were posting comments on my page and my blogs.

I was told that she was sending these girls emails that we had exchanged to "prove" to them that we had seen each other. It was some sort of weird form of cock blocking. I guess she figured that I was treating her like all the rest of the men she had been involved with before. That I too had cheated on her, but I actually had not and there are several reasons why.

1) I barely have the strength for one woman, much less 2 or more. I have so much to do that I do not know how I would find the time. Even the email that I get from MySpace takes a lot of time to answer. When you add in travel (for comedy), my business and kids there is just not enough time in a day and something needs to give. This time that something was Cindy, I put an end to things because I didn’t have the emotional energy or time to put into a relationship and I did not think it was fair to her.

2) I just do not get many opportunities with women, even when I try. It's not like they are beating down my door. If they were I do not know what I would do. Here is a little known fact about me. I have never had a one-night stand. It is not because I have not tried, I have. But the truth is I have no game. I just have never seemed to be able to tell a girl the things she wants to hear at the right time. The sad fact is that there has never been enough alcohol at a bar to make me look good enough to take home.

3) I have a thing about monogamy. I have been cheated on before and I am just not willing to do it to someone else. I think it is the absolutely worst thing you can possibly do to another human being. It demeans them and makes them feel like they are not worth a whole lot. I would not do that to my worst enemy.

Finally, this is going to sound like I'm splitting hairs but even if I did see someone else (which never happened) we were just dating; I had made no commitment to her, it was 75 days! We had not even talked about being exclusive. I know some of you girls are thinking "That is bullshit!" I suppose I can do nothing to change what you are thinking but I will tell you that in my mind that unless we actually state to each other that we are in a committed exclusive relationship that if I want to talk to (or even see) other women I am not doing anything wrong. I'm not talking about sleeping with women either, just exchanging email or talking to someone on the phone. To me that is like having an imaginary girlfriend. Without physical contact there can be no commitment. Wouldn't you say to be in a REAL relationship with someone you have to at least know their address?

So naturally I was offended, concerned and confused by what I was hearing. So I decided to find out what was happening for myself. So remember my MySpace experiment? If not click here to read it before you go further. I decided to post a comment from Jane (the pretty woman in the experiment) to see what would happen.

Within an hour of posting the comment Jane got this message.

From: Cindy
Subject: Dear Jane
My name is Cindy and I have been dateing Vilmos for the past 3 months...we broke up recently amicably but I was just wondering for my own health reasons if he has slept with you in that time frame. Because we didn't use protection. I have enclosed the last email....of us breaking up so that you will know I am not lieing to you.


Also included with this email were 3 emails that I had exchanged with Cindy. These emails included my personal email address. They also discussed some very personal things in my life, things that I would not share with just anyone. I had felt comfortable sharing them with Cindy. And it wasn't sexual stuff; I do not even care about that. I would even post a synopsis every time I have sex on my page if I thought any cared. But these are things that are personal to MY life and not for public knowledge under any circumstances. And she feels that it is appropriate to send these things to someone she doesn't even know?

Holy shit!

I seriously doubt she was worried about her health. If that was the case she would have run out to the doctor and gotten tested. That is what any NORMAL person would do.

But you see my friends, I have come to the realization that she has decided that I will not see her I will not see anyone else either. Could this be about revenge?

So I've been watching over the past couple of weeks as she has been communicating with people on my friends list. Fortunately for me some of them are forwarding them to me and I can see she is telling them things that just aren't true. And here's the funny part, she just wrote a blog on lying!

So apparently Cindy is on a little fishing trip, trying to find all the other women that I was sleeping with while I was seeing her.

I really hate to disappoint anyone (especially Cindy) and I hate to admit this in public but there is no one else to find. But there is no talking to her and no convincing her. So I think she should get what she wants, validation.

So I am begging anyone that I have slept with to please send Cindy an email message telling her the date, time, location and a description of what we did. You could make it like the game Clue! I did it with Vilmos in the.....

Remember, we are talking about just those women I have slept with since March 1st, 2006 and please do not forget to tell her about any diseases you may have. A link to her email is below.

I originally had it in here but have since removed it.

But if you want to send me some good stories.....

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