I's the first touring bike I've ever had. Up till now I've always
ridden on choppers and Sportser's. All of them have had only one
seat, which explains my difficulty for picking up girls. You see, most
guys get a bike with 2 seats so they can take girls out on rides. They
hope this will lead to other things, which sometimes it does. But not
me, apparently my subconscious sees some sort of flaw in this idea (or
plan) and has instructed me to only get motorcycles with one seat.
And of course the bike I just bought has (let's all say it together) 1 seat.
Because of my age when people see me riding a Harley they think that
I'm going through sort of "male menopause". Or that I'm some
sort of weekend rider, a poser, some guy that dresses the part on the
weekends and then goes back to his regular life at the office during the
I am none of these things.
I'm also going to tell you this. I have no problem with anyone that
rides. I don't even care WHAT they ride. There are a lot of Harley
snobs out there. It's about the wind in your face not the brand of the
bike. Figure it out!
And don't get me started on tank riders, crotch rockets or whatever
you kids call them these days. I'm a HARD CORE Harley rider but I'd
get on one of those in a minute if I thought I had enough self-control
for it. In fact I admire you guys that know how to keep your speed below
100. I wouldn't be able to do that. Riding is like sex to me some
times I like it fast and hard, other times slow and pleasurable. I guess
that's why I ride a Harley. I like a long slow ride.
So about me.....
I've been riding since 1973 and when I started you had to be tough to ride a Harley.
I rode because I love to, it was exciting. Plus I was a little bit of a rebel back then. I didn't even
consider getting a Japanese bike then because getting a "rice
burner" was for pussies!
Sure, all those "rice burners" had better suspension, were more
reliable and faster than the Sportster I owned. But there was something
about riding a Harley that had no suspension on the rear wheel. When you
hit a bump your spine was re-aligned. Chiropractors were not popular
back then but if the biker community had known about them they would
have made fortune!
And man did they rattle. In those days we used to replace as many bolts a
we could with allen screws. Then we would carry a T-handled allen
wrench with us. And when you were hanging out, talking with you buddies
you were moving around your bike tightening the bolts. It was very
convenient and a good use of my time.
And riding behind someone with a hard tail was always fun. Because they
shook so much occasionally something would fall off. You were constantly
dodging nuts, bolts, screws and other small items that shook their way
off. Funny though, the women always seemed to be able to hang on just
And did I mention the kick-starter? There wasn't an electric starter
back then. It's so easy now. You get on your bike and press a button
and your bike just starts! It's magic! Back then when you wanted to
start your bike it took just the right amount of choke, twisting the
throttle and putting all of your weight on the kick-start to turn the
motor. And there was the recoil. It happened occasionally when you
caught the kick-starter wrong. It was almost always good for a sprained
And when you pulled up to some place on a Harley no one welcomed you with
open arms. There were no signs that said "Bikers Welcome". Because
we didn't have money back then. When you got off your bike and went
into a place they watched you the entire time to make sure you didn't
steal anything. Unless you were at a bar and you had better be ready to
fight. Because when you road a scooter it was implied that you were
tough and there were times you got called you on it.
Now I know there are some hard-core guys out there. I'm going to talk
about the guys my age that started riding recently because it was" fashionable".
First of all, good for you, I'm glad you are riding. What the hell took you so long? But sometimes you really piss me off.
You won't ride in all kinds of weather.
I've ridden in below zero temperature, snow, hail, and sleet. I've
ridden in rain that was coming down so hard that my shoes filled up from
the water that soaked in.
And what's with the windshield?
OK, I have one now but it's my first one. I see people putting them on
Sportsers! What about the wind in you face, the gravel hitting you in
the head? I've ridden my entire life without anything to protect me.
I've eaten just about every bug imaginable and been hit in every part
of my face by debris.
And quit with the waving!
It's an old tradition that should go away. In the day you used to put
your arm out when you saw a fellow Harley rider to show some solidarity.
It was your way of acknowledging them Now you guys are waving like you
are in a gay pride parade.
So to everyone that rides, have a great and safe summer. I hope you see me out there and if you do, but don't fucking wave.