Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Some fun!

Recently I became the proud owner of a 2004 Harley Davidson Electra Glide. It used to be a police bike. It is black and it is beautiful and that's of me on it right after I got it at the dealership!

I's the first touring bike I've ever had. Up till now I've always ridden on choppers and Sportser's. All of them have had only one seat, which explains my difficulty for picking up girls. You see, most guys get a bike with 2 seats so they can take girls out on rides. They hope this will lead to other things, which sometimes it does. But not me, apparently my subconscious sees some sort of flaw in this idea (or plan) and has instructed me to only get motorcycles with one seat.

And of course the bike I just bought has (let's all say it together) 1 seat.

Because of my age when people see me riding a Harley they think that I'm going through sort of "male menopause". Or that I'm some sort of weekend rider, a poser, some guy that dresses the part on the weekends and then goes back to his regular life at the office during the week.

I am none of these things.

I'm also going to tell you this. I have no problem with anyone that rides. I don't even care WHAT they ride. There are a lot of Harley snobs out there. It's about the wind in your face not the brand of the bike. Figure it out!

And don't get me started on tank riders, crotch rockets or whatever you kids call them these days. I'm a HARD CORE Harley rider but I'd get on one of those in a minute if I thought I had enough self-control for it. In fact I admire you guys that know how to keep your speed below 100. I wouldn't be able to do that. Riding is like sex to me some times I like it fast and hard, other times slow and pleasurable. I guess that's why I ride a Harley. I like a long slow ride.

So about me.....

I've been riding since 1973 and when I started you had to be tough to ride a Harley.

I rode because I love to, it was exciting. Plus I was a little bit of a rebel back then. I didn't even consider getting a Japanese bike then because getting a "rice burner" was for pussies!

Sure, all those "rice burners" had better suspension, were more reliable and faster than the Sportster I owned. But there was something about riding a Harley that had no suspension on the rear wheel. When you hit a bump your spine was re-aligned. Chiropractors were not popular back then but if the biker community had known about them they would have made fortune!

And man did they rattle. In those days we used to replace as many bolts a we could with allen screws. Then we would carry a T-handled allen wrench with us. And when you were hanging out, talking with you buddies you were moving around your bike tightening the bolts. It was very convenient and a good use of my time.

And riding behind someone with a hard tail was always fun. Because they shook so much occasionally something would fall off. You were constantly dodging nuts, bolts, screws and other small items that shook their way off. Funny though, the women always seemed to be able to hang on just fine.

And did I mention the kick-starter? There wasn't an electric starter back then. It's so easy now. You get on your bike and press a button and your bike just starts! It's magic! Back then when you wanted to start your bike it took just the right amount of choke, twisting the throttle and putting all of your weight on the kick-start to turn the motor. And there was the recoil. It happened occasionally when you caught the kick-starter wrong. It was almost always good for a sprained ankle.

And when you pulled up to some place on a Harley no one welcomed you with open arms. There were no signs that said "Bikers Welcome". Because we didn't have money back then. When you got off your bike and went into a place they watched you the entire time to make sure you didn't steal anything. Unless you were at a bar and you had better be ready to fight. Because when you road a scooter it was implied that you were tough and there were times you got called you on it.

Now I know there are some hard-core guys out there. I'm going to talk about the guys my age that started riding recently because it was" fashionable".

First of all, good for you, I'm glad you are riding. What the hell took you so long? But sometimes you really piss me off.

You won't ride in all kinds of weather.

I've ridden in below zero temperature, snow, hail, and sleet. I've ridden in rain that was coming down so hard that my shoes filled up from the water that soaked in.

And what's with the windshield?

OK, I have one now but it's my first one. I see people putting them on Sportsers! What about the wind in you face, the gravel hitting you in the head? I've ridden my entire life without anything to protect me. I've eaten just about every bug imaginable and been hit in every part of my face by debris.

And quit with the waving!

It's an old tradition that should go away. In the day you used to put your arm out when you saw a fellow Harley rider to show some solidarity. It was your way of acknowledging them Now you guys are waving like you are in a gay pride parade.


So to everyone that rides, have a great and safe summer. I hope you see me out there and if you do, but don't fucking wave.

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