Saturday, May 06, 2006

Mongo Angry

It looks like I've finally really pissed off someone on MySpace.

And I'm going to call him Mongo.

Now as this progresses you will see Mongo is a man of few words and it is obvious that he chooses his words wisely. You can also tell he has an extensive vocabulary which most certainly has come from his education at the finest of schools. His understanding of the English language and how to write using proper grammar and punctuation are beyond compare.

Now if I have already peaked you interest in this fine human being you can look at his profile [link removed]. Doesn't he remind you of the Mongo in Blazing Saddles? Just a big dufas? There's just a blank I don't understand look on his face isn't there? Doesn't he look like the guy in high school that they had on the football team because he was just huge? They had to give him special instructions like. Now remember Mongo, don't try to tackle anyone wearing a white jersey, because those are our guys. And you don't want to hurt our guys do you Mongo? And if you forget which color just look down at your jersey and you'll know.

So how did I manage to piss Mongo off you ask? It started innocently enough. I sent him the same letter I sent you; a short polite letter asking him if he would like to have a comedian friend?

Now when Mongo got this letter he felt a need to reply.

And this is what he said..

From: Mongo

Date: May 3, 2006 1:21 PM

fuck off


Well, I really don't take kindly to that. After all there is no need to be rude. I just asked a question. A polite, no thanks or ignoring me would do. But Mongo went deep into the well of his education and communicated with me in such a way that I would clearly understand his intelligence.

Being the kind of guy I am I cant just these things pass. So I sent him the following response.


From: Vilmos

Date: May 3, 2006 1:32 PM

That was soooo original. Can I use that?


I just wanted Mongo to know how childish I thought his answer was so I sent him a note that he should have been able to figure out. Now I will admit I misspelled Soooo but I thought a man with his education would not fault me for that and would be able to get my meaning. Should I have been so antagonistic? Of course I should have! A guy like this deserves to have his chained jerked around a little.

And the good news for him is that I'm just the perfect guy to do it.

So later that day I received the following.


From: Mongo

Date: May 3, 2006 6:17 PM

go somewhere else to do your advertising


Once again he comes up with a real zinger, a convincing argument that is well formatted, clear and concise. His college English professor would most certainly be proud.

Now I will admit he did not ask for a response here but he did provide incorrect information. He asked me to go somewhere else to advertise. Now first of all I am a little anal about these things and I do not feel I am advertising. I believe I am Networking which in my mind is clearly a different thing.

And really, isn't that what MySpace is all about? Putting your information out in a public forum for all to see. Make new acquaintances, find the love of your life, date or just plain hook up?

So I felt that Mongo being the intelligent man he was would appreciate my pointing this out to him. So I sent him the following reply.


From: Vilmos

Date: May 3, 2006 8:41 PM


The name seems to suit you. You are reminding me of the character in Blazing Saddles, big and stupid.

You haven't seemed to grasp the nature of MySpace.

It is people communicating and networking with other people.

If you don't want to be contacted by people you don't know there are ways to set your profile up to avoid it.

Then there's the part that instead of ignoring me and blocking my profile from contact. You decided that it would be better to just be a rude prick.

And it's all because guys like you on the Internet feel they can say or do what they want because they are sitting anonymously behind a computer screen.

It doesn't take much of a pair to act that way dude. Would it be that difficult to just do a polite "No thanks"?

And you are so small minded you can't even put a couple of sentences together.


Get a life dude.



So as you can see I have already stooped to a lower level and my friends, I am very sorry that you must see these words. I feel nothing less than shame and regret. I could have been a better communicator. I could have not been so abrasive. I could have been a better person.

But I am not.

But then again Mongo isn't either and he sent me the following reply.


From: Mongo

Date: May 4, 2006 3:50 PM

MySpace is not intended for cheap fucks like you to run around sending fake messages to people - only with the sole purpose of advertising. You could care less about people - all you want is people to visit your website and line your pockets.

"Vilmos" isn't much better of a screen name. It suits you too, what with your tee shirt and stick.

I don't tell people to fuck off because I sit safely behind my computer - I tell them to fuck off because I get enough spam as it is, and I would gladly confront them in person if afforded.

I decided to be a rude prick because it is important for internet trollers to know that their "mass messages" are NOT welcome by all.


So here is where I have a real disagreement with Mongo. I am not a cheap fuck. I shop at the finest of markets, like Safeway and King Soopers. I own a Honda and ride a Harley. These are not the qualities of a cheap fuck.

And my message wasn't fake. I meant every word I said! I do want to make friends and I will tell you all I've met some very nice and funny people on MySpace.

And I care very much for everyone and try to treat everyone with respect, except Mongo because hes being an asshole and I don't like his poor attitude.

And I don't sell anything; I don't even have banner advertising on my regular web site. I am actually the worst marketing person EVER!

Then he decided to attack my name knowing nothing about me. He thinks I made it up. Unfortunately for him it is my first name. And I don't know why he doesn't like my t-shirt and drum sticks. It makes for a weak argument. So far he was not doing so well. I had expected more!

Then towards the end I get the physical threat and finally I find out the true reason for his anger.

He is the defender of all that is good and right on the Internet. Anyone that is doing something he feels is wrong will feel his wrath!

So here is my reply.


From: Vilmos

Date: May 4, 2006 5:05 PM

You really aren't very bright are you?

First of all, take a look at anything I do on the net. I sell nothing. You make statements that are completely false and have no truth to them. You base them on a complete lack of knowledge. You didn't even take the time to check.

And I have news for you. I care very much about the people I contact and communicate with. I answer all email and treat everyone with respect. And with over 2,000 people on my friends list you are the very first person to react is such a rude way.

And what do you know about my name? It is my first name you idiot. I'm the 18th generation in my family to have it and people in my family were statesmen in Hungary.

Would you care to discuss yours? Mongo!

Any time you want to confront me in person you just let me know. But I'll also warn you to be very careful about who you make that kind of offer to. You have no idea who you might be dealing with.

People like you always pull that one out. What do you think because you are over 6 foot I should fear you? You've got to be kidding me!

And I am not trolling for anyone. I am just looking for people who might enjoy some humor in their life. Not someone like you that is living a sad and pathetic existence. People like you do not have the ability to be happy.

Even your email exchange isn't much fun, it's like slapping around a retard.

I'm looking forward to your next idiotic words.




So again my friends I will apologize for my rude behavior. I should not have lost my temper, but I felt something needed to be said. In truth I think calling him a moron was uncalled for. I should have used the term dumbass.

And here was his reply. After this he finally blocked me; probably to stop the bleeding.


Are you done?! I think you are the one with the pathetic life - nothing else better to do than send endless emails to someone who doesn't give a shit - and you call yourself a comic......

Please move on.....

You are just another spammer


So since he won't take my reply privately, I am forced to send it publicly.

Here it is.


No I am not finished, as you will understand once you read my blog.

Because apparently you do give a shit otherwise you wouldn't have taken the time to be so negative. The good news for you is that now 400 - 500 people a day (all those people I don't care about) will read your words and know what kind of person you are. They will see your intelligence and your ability to communicate on a civil level.

Then they will go to your profile and see all that you have posted for the world. They will notice how you only have one friend and that person is probably in your family. It would make sense, as I can't believe anyone other than family wanting to have contact with you. I know I do not. Maybe you will get some friends out of this. Maybe I have done you the favor here.

And for your edification people and comedy are my life. I'm a comic for a number of reasons but one of them is that I truly enjoy bringing laughter into peoples lives. It is my gift of love to them and I give it willingly and expect nothing in return for it. I thank God every day I am allowed to do what I do. I am truly blessed.

I am humbled when anyone enjoys my comedy.

On the other hand I also can be a real asshole which is coming into play here. I just dislike it when people like you think they can say anything they want using the anonymity the Internet provides. You are adding nothing but negativity to the equation.

And the only reason you do that is because you want someone to suffer with you.

Its a shame.

So I will leave you with this advise......

Don't get into a flame war with someone that has been on-line since 1981. You will most certainly lose.

I would also like to end this the way it started.

Fuck off!

Your buddy!


No comments: