Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I'd Rather be Out of Town

Note: As you read this don't misunderstand. I don't care what I have to do to get on stage. I'm willing to go through anything and will do so happily. I just wanted to show you all the difference.

The truth is I have it MUCH easier when I am performing out of town.

Let me share my "out of town" day with you.....

I get up at the crack of 9:00 AM.

Read a book for about an hour.

Get on my running stuff and go out for as long a run as I feel like.

When I get back I take a long leisurely shower.

Turn on my cell phone; it's now about 12:30 PM.

Go out to a nice coffee shop to find some lunch, get some coffee, make some calls and turn on my laptop for some high speed Internet access.

Sit in the coffee shop until around 3:30 PM.

Get back to where I am staying by 4:00 PM.

Take a 2-hour nap.

Read a little more of my book.

Have a little dinner.

Take another long relaxing shower (after all I might have bed head from the nap).

Get down to the club by 7:45.

Hang out in the club until 8:45.

Go on stage and talk for 45 minutes.

Hang around for another 30 minutes or so and thank people for coming to the show.

Get back to where I am staying.

Read a little more of my book.

Get to sleep by midnight.

Yes I know as you read this you're thinking, "Vilmos, how do you stand the strain?"

My friend, being a comedian is a rough occupation but someone has to step up and bite the bullet for the common good. At great personal sacrifice I have decided to do this for you and there's no need to thank me. You see, I'm a "giver!

So the above was when I am out of state, but I appear 2 places in Colorado. Wits End Comedy Club in Westminster and Loonees Comedy Club in Colorado Springs. When I am working in state things are completely different.

So since I was at Wits End in Westminster last week I will use last Wednesday as an example.

So welcome to a typical day when I am working in Colorado.....

Get up at 5:00 AM. I went to bed at Midnight the night before.

Spend the next 90 minutes monitoring my Internet service equipment and reading system messages.

Put on the running gear and go out on a quick run.

Take a quick shower when I get back.

Walk down the street to get coffee and a cookie for breakfast.

At 8:00am the phone starts ringing. I turn on my cell phone and
already there is voice mail. Did I mention I live in the building my businesses are in?

Spend the next 2 hours answering Internet tech support calls and I have to admit I've been doing it so long now it all sounds like whining to me.

Talk to a customer (who is wearing a large cowboy hat) in the video store for 30 minutes. He wanted a refund on his rental of Brokeback Mountain. He had no idea that "gay boys was in it". He doesn't think he should have to pay for that kind of movie.

Take a 5-minute lunch, which consists of nuking 2 veggie burgers and eating them while I sit in front of my computer and answer email.

Make a 2-hour service call at the local bank to take care of the miscellaneous problems they are having.

Leave from the bank and make a 1 hour and 15 minute drive to Colorado Springs to see my girl's soccer game.

Stand in a torrential downpour while I watch my girl's soccer team lose. Note: While the loss is not what we had hoped for. But I'm proud of my girls for playing.

Load my wet girls (and myself) in the car and drive another hour and 15 minutes to Denver.

Stop at my apartment in Denver (it's now 7:40 PM) and get out of my still wet clothes, take a 5-minute shower and wait for my girls to change.

Leave for the club at 8:00 PM. (The show is just now starting)

Get to the club at 8:20 PM.

Make sure the girls get something to eat. They haven't eaten yet.

Get a veggie burger for my dinner (Thank God the club has them!)

Go on stage at 8:45.

Do my thing on stage until 9:30.

Hang around for 30 minutes to thank the crowd and say goodbye to the staff.

Make the 2-hour drive home to Florence almost falling asleep at the wheel 3 times.

Get to bed at 1:00 AM knowing I have to get up at 5:00 AM to "rinse and repeat".

And I did "rinse and repeat" until Saturday.

So there you have it. Believe me, after 4 of those days in a row I am beyond tired. Even so, it was worth every minute of it. Being able to be on stage and make people laugh (after being a father to my children) is the greatest thing I do.

And I can't tell you how much I appreciate it when you come out to a show to see and support me. It makes everything worthwhile.

You are all the very best!

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