Friday, March 10, 2006

I Love Albuqurque!


I'm performing at Laffs Comedy Cafe' in Albuquerque this week.

Did I mention I LOVE Albuquerque!

I have to tell you that I had so many good things happen here I can't even count them. And it looks like this week will be no exception.

Let me give you a little history.

I had my first on the road gig EVER right here in Albuquerque. It was in October of 1995. I worked with Steven Kruiser from Tucson, AZ and Vince Curran from Denver Colorado. It was a particularly rough time in my life because my marriage was falling apart. The first days I was in Albuquerque were tough. I was away from my wife and our relationship was filled with stress. I remember having a 2-hour conversation with her on Friday morning that was more of an argument, things didn't look good.

But you know what? After that call unbeknownst to me she got in her car and drove all the way down to Albuquerque just to spend the night. It was a great gesture at the time. It gave me hope. In the end it didn't help, but still I have to say it was a good experience.

A year later when I was freshly separated I met a woman here that really made a difference in my life. At a time when I felt I was unlovable. Somehow or another she managed to love me. It made a world of difference in my life. I wouldn't be the man I am today if it wasn't for her. And even though it didn't work out, that was the way it was suppose to be. I owe her a debt I could never repay.

Over the years I have been here a lot. When I was an opener I came here 3 to 4 times a year, as a feature act 2 times a year.

I've made a lot of friends over the years here to. I love the food, I learned about Tequila here, one of my favorite used bookstores is here, I come for the balloon festival and the crowds love me.

My karma is great here.

As I write this I am in the Flying Star cafe. It's on the northeast side of the city. Great food, great coffee and the most important thing, FREE high speed Internet access. It's the best office ever!

And I have to admit I though the streak of fun I've had here was going to be over this time. I was planning on leaving Tuesday night because I always like to get here as soon as possible. As always though something got in the way of my leaving when I wanted to. This time it was a computer I needed to clean for a customer. I never let them sit while I'm gone. It took me until midnight to get the damn thing fixed. So I figure OK, I'll just get up at 4:00am and get down there during by 9:30. See it's only a 5 hour drive from my home in Florence.

So I get up at 4:00AM on Wednesday get in my car and stop off at the gas station. I get out my wallet to pay for my gas and NO DEBIT CARD! It is not in my wallet. So then I remember, I had stopped by the ATM Monday and left it in there. So here it is 4:00AM, I have $30 in my wallet (which is not even enough to pay for the gas to get there) and I'm leaving for Albuquerque for a week. So at this point I'm not able to leave.

So I know what you are thinking, if I'm going away for a week why don't I have any money? Well the truth is I never carry any cash. I used to be a banker (no earrings back then) and anyone would take your check. So I'm just not in the habit of carrying cash. I also don't have credit cards because I got in trouble with them years ago and a man has got to know his limitations.

So I go back to my house. This is the 2nd issue I've had with my wallet within the last week. Last Thursday I lost track of it somewhere and ended up driving from Florence to Denver at 11:30PM just to see if it was in my apartment, which (of course) it wasn't. After a night of no sleep and a lot of searching I ended up finding the thing back in Florence, jammed into the darkest depths of my computer bag. I'm loosing my mind!

So now I'm worried about the card and I can't leave until I get some money so I can't sleep. I wait until 8:00AM, get over to the bank tell them about my card, get some money and I'm on my way.

And since I haven't had any sleep I'm practically falling asleep at the wheel on the way down. If it wasn't for the sugar rush of jelly beans I brought with me I never would have made it.

So I was thinking it was going to be an uncomfortable week in the condo. "The condo" refers to any place the club puts the comics up. It could be a house or an apartment. This one is an apartment.

I'm featuring this week, which is never a good thing for a headliner. I usually do headline so I'm a very strong Feature act and at times can be difficult to follow. Add to that the headliner I'm working with would like to work at the club I book and I had to say no. You see club management reviewed his tape and didn't feel he was a good fit for the club. That doesn't mean he's a bad comic. It just means management didn't feel he would be liked by our customers and I was the one that got to tell him. So I figured things are going to be a little awkward this week and it had kept me from really looking forward to coming down here.

Even so I have to tell you that I like this guy. He's a good guy, a real pro and he has been nothing but nice to me so since I've known him. He's been around a long time to. Which means he and I both know a lot of the same guys and I have really enjoyed hanging with him this week.

Not only that but we have a great Opener this week. Openers are the least experienced comics in the show. Most have only a couple years experience and it takes much longer than that to get good at the craft. So it is not unusual for the Feature has to go up to a crowd that has just watched a guy eat it like a plow horse (not a good thing) for 15 minutes. This means the crowd is not properly warmed up and you have to work harder to have a good show.

But the opener this week is kicking ass! I'm going up to a nice warmed up crowd every show and I couldn't be happier.

But I'm not going to say his name because he's a big MySpace guy and I don't want to help him any! My plan is to deny any MySpace request he makes and not allow him to post any comments. That way no one will ever know who he is. It's my way of sticking it to him. And I'm only doing it for my own amusement.

This is also a chauffeur week for me. Neither one of the guys I'm working with came in a car, one flew in and the other took the bus. So it is up to me to get them back and forth to the club and to take them places if they need to go. It's a part of the lifestyle. You help your fellow comic out because some day you will need the help to.

And the show Wednesday night was great. I didn't realize it but I had some MySpace friends in the audience. They sat right in front and what nice people! It was a couple and the guy was very cool and very large. He had arms the size of my thighs and is about 6'4". The girl he was with was not just hot, she was Holy Shit hot! What a lucky guy he was. They hung around until just about everyone was gone. I have to admit I tried to lock him out of the building and keep her inside, but in the end I just couldn't do it. He's way to nice a guy.

And Thursday night was great to. I had a bachelorette party the front row. I love those and have a lot of fun with them. Also in the front row was a small table there for a girls birthday. They brought her a present, a small vibrator. Frigging priceless!

But the best thing of all this week, I'm connecting in a very special way with the nicest women I've ever met.

I'm telling you Albuquerque is good for me. I hope you have a place like this!

No comments: